She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did you pee in the oven last night??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
