Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
