Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Randomize
