I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
what is it with giant penises always finding me
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
