can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
