There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
