So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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