i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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