you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
