that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
