what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
