i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
