Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
