Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
