In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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