Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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