The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
