So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
