You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
