I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
