Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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