it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she peed on how many people?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
