So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
