I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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