WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
