just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
