last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
