I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
