i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
