he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
