im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So squirting runs in the family.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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