I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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