Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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