I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
