ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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