We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
