it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
