Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
