I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you had me at cake vodka
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
