So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
