Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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