grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
