the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Im part way to drunk.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
