3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
