All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
