And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
