gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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