The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
