Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
