Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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