Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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